playground

I am in my bathroom, chain smoking
I am in the bathroom
to avoid the fire alarm.
the gas station attendant
mumbled something cryptic.
I asked him to repeat what he said in a way.
But I still didn’t understand\

I asked for the light blue
put down the light blue lighter
and stared at the cohesiveness on the counter.
I love the blue feeling
Dark blue
he doesn’t sit down at the table
meant for two
He says he’s going to make it up to me
But i’ve never felt more isolated
He doesn’t love her he says to me in my head
He doesn’t love me
Are the words spoken to that woman
She comes here what feels like
Every saturday
I embrace the pain, something has to change in my mind
Says my conscience

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